tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47517241610841699652024-02-19T08:02:06.556-08:00SECRET THOUGHTS AND MOREBarbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-75390826110799473052011-01-09T10:11:00.000-08:002011-01-09T10:12:59.030-08:00~~New Beginnings are Bittersweet~~<span style="color: #999999;">Hello friends,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;">I just keep slacking on my blog, so sorry for those who care. I will try my hardest to keep it up and going. I had a pretty good Christmas, and the New Year is off to a not so good start. I had a chance to work for a company, but turned it down, due to fright of working with lots of men. I don't know why I let things go before even giving them a chance. But they say, "things happen for a reason", so hopefully something better is waiting in the wings of life. I am watching TV, and doing the facebook thingy. Gotta love fb...some days it's the only thing that gives me hope and boosts my self-esteem. I know, I know...false friends, false hopes...big dreams, big hopes...If one looks at it that way, that's all you'll ever get if falseness. I know something good will happen, in both my financial and love life very soon. When you feel like giving up, that's when it will happen. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Well, I have things to do, I think..lol...I will be back on here later, so will write more. Oh, I love my cat, fonzie, so much. He brings happiness, when nothing else does. Have a great day friends, and have a blessed day.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Sincerely,</span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Barbara :) <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-136128261229963452010-12-14T10:07:00.000-08:002011-01-09T10:03:21.919-08:00~~Only have a few minutes to write~~<span style="color: #999999;">Just writing my Christmas wish....All I want for Christmas is love and a good job...Is that really asking for too much. I have people who love me in my love...but I want a true man who cares, and puts me first. Also Santa....I really really need a good job..I could have asked for a house, or car, or whatever...but my wishes are pretty easy for you to fulfill..Thanks Santa in advanceā„</span><br />
<br />
<br />
Talk soon frinds, <br />
Barbara <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-48448115222488478602010-12-03T07:25:00.000-08:002010-12-03T07:27:03.929-08:00~~A new day begins~~<span style="color: #cccccc;">Good morning all,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">My daughter stayed home sick from school again. Not a good way to start the day..I hope she feels better soon. Just cleaning house and watching TV..oh, and facebook, which I love. Still reading through all my new information on work at home cash generator....it's very interesting I must say...just glad it didn't cost much, only 2.97..which was a lot cheaper then one of my classes I've taking at my local college. For sure not going back to school. My mind is made up, and I will succeed if it's the last thing I do. My plan is to hopefully get a full time job ( the one I applied to in manufacturing), and save save save..while looking for a good investment in some kind of work at home business. Going to read and reread; learn and relearn all my new information on how to make money blogging, sending e-mails, and designing using my Illustrator and web coding skills...( I may not be graduating, but I did learn a thing or two about these subjects). Something will happen, I can feel it. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">On a lighter note, my two cats are doing goodl..love my cats dearly. They bring me peace when people don't seem to cut it. One of these days I will get married again, because I love being married..when my time is right, God will let this happen. Good things happen to good people, and I feel as if I am a good person, so I will not lose my determination to win in a relationship and career. Have a wonderful day friends, and lets make some money..so we can survive, and help others who need help as well..:)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Barbara <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-56583688709691962292010-12-01T13:37:00.000-08:002010-12-01T13:41:27.458-08:00~~New investment~~<span style="color: #999999;">Hello friends</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;">How is everyone doing today? Good I hope. Well, I invested a little money into a work at home project but still learning all the ends and outs of this venture. Looks really interesting and will keep everyone posted on how this works. It's called In Home Cash Generator..This package gives one all the tools needed to make money online marketing whatever product one uses. For instance, if you do a lot of blogging, you can get all the traffic information guides, and several ebooks that upload to one's computer. I'm still in the process of doing this. And the best thing is no one has to buy this product from me or I don't have to sell anything to anyone. I paid shipping and handling, and then was given a user name with a code, and didn't have to wait on the books to come in the mail. There is lots of good stuff in this...mostly done by video, so one can see exactly how to put tags in the blogs, and when and where to send written articles to receive payment. I will put the link at the bottom if anyone wants to view. Don't worry, I get nothing for you doing this, I just thought it might help some of you out. I have to go now, but will try and get back on tonight. Have a wonderful money making day:)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;">Barbara ~~</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><a href="http://www.inhomecashgenerator.com/">http://www.inhomecashgenerator.com/</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #999999;"><a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-15497041436652481652010-11-22T11:27:00.000-08:002010-11-22T11:27:05.482-08:00~~Thinks trying to work at home is impossible~~<span style="color: #444444;">Yep.....offically believe working at home is for the experienced people who already have some kind of talent. I've been trying for over 3 years, and still don't have a clue how people do it without putting out money first, in which I don't have. The picturecookie thingy is a big joke. I still have it up, why, I don't know..it's crazy. Anyways, I just hope I can find a job any where. Can ya tell....my spirit is gone for the day. Guess I should stop typing and go pick up my daughter from school...so I can be emotionally abused by her for a while..this takes my mind off the other problem, of not having a job..Have a wonderful day friends...:)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #444444;">Barbara :)</span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-76041275096358456192010-11-15T10:18:00.000-08:002010-11-15T10:18:28.336-08:00~~Watchin the Waltons and searching for a job...AGAIN~~<span style="color: #cccccc;">Hello friends..I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend...but like everything...all good things must come to an end..I wonder who said that anyways? Or did I just make it up...anyway...it did come to and end, none the less., and I'm right back here at my computer..stll waiting on a magical work at home job to drop in my lap..Only time will tell..</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">I have some of the best friends on facebook. So supportive. They don't know for the most part how badly depressed I am, or how badly I need a job. I have a total of 150 friends on fb, and most of them have awesome careers....I get jealous some days, and have to turn my computer off. I want so badly what they have...I know that sounds bad, and its not the material things they have, but the fact that they can brag about going to work. I want so badly to sign in fb ad say...."Well, see ya late..off to work"..Some people would want to stay home, but not me. I want a career more then anything else (besides being madly in love with a husband sitting beside me)...but that's another story for another day I suppose. Anyway, I can't Wait much, cause its interfering with my job search. So will write more later. By the way, I had a very bad night with my 16 year old daughter. Don't know what I am doing to do with that girl.</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Don't forget to stop by my cookie store please..It would be nice to sell 1 cookie..so maybe I can brag a little.lol...Enjoy this day:)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Barbara <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-24445724629556049222010-11-14T09:23:00.000-08:002010-11-14T09:24:01.526-08:00~~Just a lazy kind of Sunday~~<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Hello everyone...Hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday..I'm just watching Lifetime movies, and being lazy actually. Trying not to think of negative things today. I may see what jobs are up in wahm.com and some jobs sites around my home base...or not. Like the idea of doing nothing today..I did get dressed...pj's off...so not too lazy. I just seen an advertisement for a Johnny Depp movie..OH YEAH!!! "The Tourist" looks really really awesome. Comes out on December 10th..can't wait.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">So I am trying to change my background layout because these dots are not working for me anymore..lol. A friend blogger suggested looking for free layouts on google, and I did..and seen a bunch I love. I tried to change mine, but for some reason everything changed but the words. So I changed it back asap. I probably could have fixed it, but did it quick, and was about to leave the house, so I just changed it back to the norm for now..I may re-mess with here soon today, if I can get out of this lazy mood. Not sure what I did...I followed the directions and all...but when I reviewed it, the layout was there, but still all the blue dots in my wording..lol..Now my major use to be graphic design, with some web design using coding. I gave my great coding book away to a guy friend in one of my classes...so now I have to purchase a new web coding book.You might know, when I give something away, I will need it..oh well. He needed it more at the time because he works in web design and needed some of the codes he couldn't find. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Okay, here I am typing away about nothing really. I really should try and find a job typing because I enjoy it so much. Will write more later...Enjoy this day~~</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Barbara :( <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-86715655062638720482010-11-12T12:38:00.000-08:002010-11-12T12:40:44.157-08:00~~So I heard to have a successful blog site, I must be writing about a certain topic~~<span style="color: #cccccc;">I don't know about you, but I believe we can blog on anything...I guess the money makers use different kinds of page set-ups. Maybe when I get big time like them, I will change to something else. For now, I guess blogspot is okay. Still don't know if people really make lots of money blogging anyways. In fact, I haven't I have been searching on the Internet for over 3 years, and have still not found the golden key to success on here, unless I am willing to hash out lots of money. If I'm missing something, would someone please speak up..and thank you if you do.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">So, my cookie business is not doing so well yet. Haven't sold one single cookie..It's really okay though..because it didn't cost anything to set up, so might as well keep on trying with it. I am still going to contact them with some ideas I have on them making more money on their product. It is a good idea, and I'm sure someone is making good money off this business. I am going to design my own advertising flyer's and hopefully send them out to churches and such...maybe this will help grow this business. One day I will find the right business to be in.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Getting ready to head to my dad's for a while. Love my parents. I spend as much time as possible with them, since they live so close. It's also 72 degrees here in Indiana. The perfect day..need to enjoy cause by Sunday, the high will be 52 and rain..then probably snow..yuckville...Well, will catch you all later. Enjoy this Friday nite..:)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Barbara :) <a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/</a> </span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-9778120690501385872010-11-11T11:35:00.000-08:002010-11-12T04:58:34.280-08:00~Hmmm...doing facebook, and job searching..gezzz~~<span style="color: #cccccc;">Hello Friends,</span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Getting a headache today...I sure hope I'm not getting sick. As soon as I write this I'm gonna lay down for a few minutes. Just took my 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend to the park. She is getting so demanding in her old age. I bend over backwards for that girl, and she still talks to me mean...What can ya do..?? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">While taking her to the park, of couse something had to dampen my mood. I ran out of fuel..and had to call my boyfriend, or friend, or baby's daddy..not sure which fits, but anyways, had to wait on a busy street for him to bring the fuel. Not one person stopped tosee if we needed help..and I memorized each and every one of those millions of cars that passed me and didn't stop..lol..It's all good, I had someone coming, but you'd think someone would at least stop and ask...Karma is a bitc, so like I said...it's all good. My applications will have to wait. I need to lay down....stress is getting the best of me at the moment. Will hollar back at ya later. Have a wonderful day and try and visist my cookie shopie..lol..</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;">Barbara :)</span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-35607020733392762232010-11-10T18:32:00.000-08:002010-11-12T05:00:09.602-08:00Oh yeah, please visit my cookie store..Thank you~~Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-85760144972769645472010-11-10T18:25:00.000-08:002010-11-10T18:25:28.974-08:00~~Watching CMA's~~<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Hello all....Just sitting here watching the CMA's.....and decided I really hate the song "Stuck like Glue", by Sugarland...I like Sugarland, but I hate that song...lol..</span><br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Been putting in more applications today, still hoping I get something before Christmas. I hope this picturecookie thing takes off, but someone should really tell the company owner that the prices are just a little high. It's great deals for social occasions like church events and the such, but to just buy a box can be expensiive. But they are good, and nicley packaged, so maybe if I had money like most people in this world, I wouldn't think the price was bad. Anyways, it is fun and I just pray it takes off. </span><br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">How is everyone tonight? Good I hope. I am trying to visist as many blog sites as I can each day and will try and leave a comment. It's been so long since I last blogged, I can't even remember who's I use to visit a lot, except a few that were close to me. I see such nicely done blogs, you guys should be proud. Is anyone making any good money doing this blog thing? Just curiious if anyones is making the big time yet. If so, can you give me some hints..lol..would really appreciate it. Well, gonna finish watching the CMA's. Will write more tomorrow. Enjoy this nite</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Barbara :)</span>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-26299953186542242992010-11-09T07:41:00.000-08:002010-11-09T07:52:04.952-08:00It's been a while<em><span style="color:#336666;">It's been a long time since I last blogged, but hey I'm back. With new thoughts and new idea's on life and love. I am still living single, but still see my daughter's daddy everyday. I know right, doesn't make since, but really, what does nowadaysss. lol. I am now offically not going back to school. It has been nothing but a headache for the past 7 years. Time to throw in the towel, and try new things. I am going to spend more time searching the net looking for ways to make a living from home, and start by trying to sell cookies using "Picturecookie"....I am a shopkeeper, so will let you know how this goes. Not expecting big income, just have to start some where, and this is my where for now. Plus, I am actively putting like a million app's a day online in hopes of finding anything....hoping for manufacturing:)Well, have a lots to do today, so will for sure write more later..Have a wonderful day friends. Also I will put my new picturecookie website right here, so you can check it out. Barbara :)</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#336666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#336666;"><a href="http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com/">http://lorraine6363.picturecookie.com</a> </span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-32297401703340517902009-10-23T09:01:00.000-07:002009-10-23T09:04:36.348-07:00Wow...It's been forever and a Day since I've wrote on here...lol...<em><span style="color:#003333;">Hi everyone...I finally got a computer again...man after all this time. Hope everyone has been doing good on there blogs...Right now I am doing some illustrator work, so I can't write much, but will be back later to recap how my year has been going. Love to hear from you guys, if you're still around. Talk again soon......</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#003333;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#003333;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-36813823255738289872008-12-11T08:24:00.000-08:002010-11-09T08:24:50.438-08:00~~Celebrity Rehab, its gonna be a great nite~~<em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Wow, its Thursday already, this week going by so fast. Was watching "The View", but Obama started talking so I thought I would write for a few minutes. Tonight Celebrity Rehab is on. Has anyone ever watched this show? I love it. Some day I would like to find a way to help people with additions, but <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">that's</span></span></em><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"> a hard job to take on. People usually don't stop until they're ready to stop. I know way too many who are addicted to something. Anyway, back to the show. You know some of it is acting, because after all, most of them are famous for acting, but it's still sad, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">especially</span> Jeff. He can be so funny, and at the same time he makes me so sad. And the model, I forgot her name, she is addicted to X<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">anax</span> and pills like this. I feel her pain. I too, am taking X<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">anax</span>, but I feel as I really need them. If I tried to stop, I would have severe panic and would have to go the hospital. Her mom is on them as well. She says her mom started her on them. <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">That's</span> sad. I hope my daughter doesn't start thinking pills are a way to live. I try not to take them around her, but sometimes when I'm having a very back panic attack, I have to. I had some anxiety this morning, but feel a little better now, not much, but can relax a little. I want more then anything to be able to go out my door, without having fear. Fear of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">unknown</span> is what it is. But usually I know where I'm going( I hope I do, or I better come back in..<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" class="blsp-spelling-error">lol</span>), so I don't know why its so hard to leave this apartment. Anyway, I have Celebrity Rehab to look forward to tonight. Also Grey's is on, love that show too. If I can just make it till tonight. I love <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" class="blsp-spelling-error">nite</span> time, I put on my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">Jammie's</span>, watch my <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" class="blsp-spelling-error">tv</span>, and feel secure (this is my most secure part of the whole day). 5:00 is the worst part of my day for some reason. I think its because I go down to my moms and see my daughters dad. He makes me nervous, but I feel as if I have to meet him there every day. And my dad is 67, and he wants me to stop by and see him everyday. He gets upset if I don't. My dad gets up and goes out to the garage everyday and drinks his beer, and there is no heat in the garage, but he insists on staying outside all day long. He listens to his radio, drinks his beer, the comes in at night about 8pm. Go figure. He doesn't get drunk though, he <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">spaces</span> his beer out through out the day.</span></em><br /><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-90625049483495380682008-12-09T07:53:00.000-08:002008-12-09T08:05:47.649-08:00~~What will be will be~~<em><span style="color:#cccccc;">It's raining here..which I love. Its also about 50, so not so cold considering a few days ago it was 20...Weather in Indiana is crazy. Not gonna write much today, because I have a lot on my mind. I did send a Christmas card yesterday to my mystery man. Now I just hope he doesn't decide to drive up...Not sure I am ready for that. I just mainly wanted him to know where I lived now, just because. I like to keep that connection open for <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">whatever</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">life</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">throughs </span>my way, you know. Anyway, I may sign back on after while and write some more, but can't write much at the moment. Not really in a dab mood or anything, not sure whats going on in my mind. I have those days where my mind just wants to rest and not do much of anything. I think my mind is on the guy in the white truck, the mystery man. But not really a mystery man, since I do know him very well, just not lately. I mean, after all, its been 5 years, but feels like yesterday. I know....i do on and on about this person. sorry. Oh, one more thing. The lady and man that lives across the street from me are going through something, but not sure what. I haven't seen her there all week. And last week, she was only there a few hours a day. But he still comes home at the same time everyday. She feeds the squirrels all the time and they're running around looking for food from her. I think they miss her. I would feed them, but feel as if that would be wrong of me. After all, not sure what my neighbors are going through. I hope nothing serious. I hate to see people having problems. God bless you all.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#cccccc;">I hope everyone is having a very blessed day. Talk soon.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#cccccc;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-14055918698080453222008-12-08T08:16:00.000-08:002008-12-08T08:45:00.816-08:00~~It's a Wonderful Llife~~<em><span style="color:#66cccc;">Hello, and good morning. Just finished my laundry, so glad, I hate doing laundry. I have to load them in my truck and then blah blah...anyway, done with that for the week. Now I am going to try and finish my web site for my web design class. Its the only one I have a chance to pass. Don't know, the final project is due this Friday, and haven't even cared to start it. I know the basics, so just maybe I can pull it off. Then I would have 3 F's and possibly a C. I need to go and talk with my advisor at school, but I can't get up there with this stupid anxiety. I'm hoping I might be able to graduate by transferring some credits from another college I attended in 2003-4. I have 20 credits at this school, but I owe them some money before I can get my transcript. If I do this, it would mean I would have over 75 credits, and hoping my advisor will at least let me graduated as "undecided". They do have associate degree's for people who just don't know what they are majoring in. I pray I can do this. I mean after all, I've been trying to get enough credits gathered up since 2002...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">omgoshhhh</span>. ...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">lol</span>. Just give me a degree already, man. Get me the hell out of school. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Thats</span> my plan anyways, so I have to make an appointment to talk with my advisor asap. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">I was so liking <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Quicktate</span>. I did it for 2 weeks, then couldn't sign in. So I e-mailed the boss, and she mailed me back saying I had way to many errors. She was nice about it, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">omgoshhh</span>. Some of those names I had to try and spell were crazy, and I couldn't hear most of the messages. I do believe she should have gave me a warning instead of just not letting me sign in. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Thats</span> not professional to just someone try over and over to sign in, but can't. E-mail the person, tell them they must try harder, then if they still don't understand how to spell all these names ( and some were in Italian, or whatever). I also think they should supply their employee's maybe a list of client customer names, so one can have some idea what the message name may be. Anyway, I'm over it, it still makes me upset, even though I was only making 5 dollars a day for typing none stop for over 5 hours a day. and I was getting headaches for trying to push my b<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">rain</span>, trying to understand what half the messages were. So, I guess it could have been a blessing in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">disguise</span>. I wasn't making much money, plus I was pushing myself hard tor really nothing. I do believe I am worth more then 5 dollars a day. Damn it! So there. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">My cat just ran through the apartment and knocked over my feathers I have in a tall basket (really cool feathers I might add). I think she's mad at me because I forgot to get her cat food when i was out. She looked at her bowl, then ran right into the basket. Silly cat. And I do need to change her liter box too. Than could be making her mad..She gets even with me when I don't care of her right. Spoiled. I guess I would be pissed too if my care giver forgot my food. I would probably bit her...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">lol</span>. I am gonna take care of her asap as well.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">Watching "The View" and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Elisbeth</span> said Rev. Wright (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Obama's</span> Rev), called her a dumb broad. Not professional at all. He should make some kind of "I'm sorry" or something. Oh well, some people are just rude like that. That's one reason why I didn't want to vote for Obama, because I feel that if he did sit in his church for 20, you do hear something, or whats the since in going to that church. You go to church to learn from you pastor. Not for me to judge. I try not to do that. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">God bless you guys all, and I did buy a Christmas card for my special friend. I plan on sending it for "the one" will know my new address. Hope this is a good thing and not a bad thing. Will see soon. Bye bye.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">Sincerely. Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-292537860934807882008-12-04T07:48:00.000-08:002008-12-04T08:24:00.485-08:00~~My Bad or What~~.<em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Alright then. Lets try this again...lol..Maybe its trying to tell me something...maybe I'm not better..<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">lol</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Ok</span>, Now. On October 24<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">th</span>, it was raining, I saw that amazing white truck drive by, I was getting ready to pack to move, I was sad because school wasn't going well. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Ok</span>, lets go from there.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">I did move, and you will not believe where I moved too: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Omgoshhhhhhh</span>. And what makes this so ironic is that my daughter's dad called about these apartments because I was having to much anxiety that day to call. And what else is crazy, is HE is the one that introduced us(the man in the white truck). <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ok</span>, if you don't know what I'm talking about, just read through my blog and you will know what I'm talking about. So, as the story goes on, the apartment I am now living in, is the same exact apartment I lived in when I met this man in the "white truck". Which isn't but about a mile from where I used to live. I was driving around in October and seen where they had several apartments for rent, but the ones I was looking at are further down the street then the one I used to live in. Didn't even think of this one. So, I had my daughters daddy call to see if any were available. He called me and said <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">there's</span> one open at 424o, and the address didn't even click. So, I drove down there, and it was the same exact apartment I live in 5 years ago when I first met "The One". So I went and filled out the application for the apartment, and she told me I could rent it, so I gave my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">deposit</span> right then and there. I am now living here. It feels like I am finally back home where I belong. I still remember living here and if feels good. I am more relaxed. But, I still remember HIM, coming here, and also we had our very first kiss here, right next to where I am sitting now. This is crazy. I was thinking about maybe sending him another card saying something like "If you would like to know where I moved to, just go to the place where you first kissed me" I don't know, this is really scary. So, what do you guys think? I already know I'm crazy...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">lol</span>.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Next, I didn't get my deposit back. She hasn't sent nothing. I wrote a 30 day notice, returned my key and a forwarding address, and cleaned and painted, fixed everything, so I don't why she would keep my 550 dollars. I looked up landlord and renters laws for Indiana, and she has 45 days to send me something regarding why she kept my money. If she doesn't send me something on December 15<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">th</span>, I am getting a lawyer. She probably things I'm a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">dumbass</span>, and don't know the law, so let her go on with her bad self. My bad, I know, but, that place looked so good when I moved out, plus all the crap I went through before I moved like not having hot water for 2 months, and having that bad leak in my bathroom for over 6 months that she was well aware of. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Anyway</span>, enough of her. What goes around comes around 10 times fold. She still hasn't rented that apartment out yet, its still in the paper, so, whatever. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">I still have not been able to go back to school since October 24<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">th</span>. My anxiety got so bad in October and November, I just could not go back. So, I will be on academic probation, if they don't kick me out for not going. I will receive 4 F's, making my grade point average 0. I was on the Deans List, now I'm on the Dirt List. Have to think about what my next move will be in this game of life. I go up 4 spaces, then back 8 spaces, just like a board game. I just wish once I'd advance to the top like shuts and ladders. You know that ladder that takes one all the why to the top and you usually win...lol..Thats the ladder I want to be on. Even though I failed out this semester, I am still in a good mood today. Maybe its this apartment bringing back all those memories of my mystery man. I think I may go ahead and just send a Christmas card and put my new address on it. He can take if from there. Maybe he will see if as fate, that we made a circle and now its 'our time', but I still like my daughters dad, so it would still not be a circle yet. Life is a mystery, you just never know what each day will bring you. Some days are good and some days are not. Like tomorrow, I may not write, I may not be back again for awhile. Who knows. Who cares. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">OK</span>, </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">I had a job at <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Quicktate</span> for about 2 weeks, but had to many errors, so was let go. I went to sign in, but couldn't. I knew if I e-mailed the boss, I knew what she would write back and say before she even did. She was nice about it, so just letting it go, what else can I do. Can't dwell on it, I have way to many failures to dwell. I also couldn't get my medicine yesterday because they said my insurance was denied for some reason. So yesterday wasn't so good. I cried most of the night, but what can I do. Nothing. Go on and wait for the next opp I guess. Well, I am getting off here. God bless you all and have a great day.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-56612117370887005332008-12-04T07:45:00.000-08:002008-12-04T07:47:39.984-08:00<em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Well good morning everyone. I shouldn't be in a good mood considering all the crap I've been through in the past 3 months, but what the hell, I am , so, where to start, where to start...lol. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">OK, I'll start where I left off on October 24, then I wrote my last blog. </span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-15660994472412285622008-10-24T05:42:00.000-07:002008-10-24T05:59:33.620-07:00~~Caution-Seen man in white truck yesterday...lol...~~<em><span style="color:#66cccc;">Good morning all...Hows everyone this morning? Good I hope. Its raining here and actually that puts me in a better mood...lol..I know, I'm silly. I am going to try and make this a relaxing day. Not worry about school or anything else for that matter. I just hope my doctor will write me a note for school next week because I really need another week off to relax and catch my breath, and get the moving thing over with. Hates moving...for the past 3 years I have moved each year when my lease was up. I hope this new place will bring satisfaction to me. I do think I will try and take all online classes next semester if possible. I think that will be better as one of my blogger friends suggested. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Thankyou</span>. That way I can concentrate on finding that perfect work at home job. I really don't know if I can work outside the home right now. Oh well, I'll just take my days one at a time. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#66cccc;">Yesterday as me and my daughter were leaving, I seen that white truck drive by and a man inside the truck was smiling and waving at me. It was him....lol..the man I've talked about on here before. I man who left the gift card on my truck on my Birthday. I didn't know if it made me have more anxiety or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">excitment</span>. Anxiety because I still see my daughter's daddy, or <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">excitement</span> because deep down in my heart I know he is "The One". so I think anyways...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">omgoshhh</span>. I don't think I need this pressure right now. My daughter knows who he is because she seen the card and so I had to tell her who he was. Yesterday she said "Mom, he just found you again, and now we are moving again"...it was funny, I had to laugh. He works at a golf course and when it rains, he gets off work early. I really hope he doesn't get brave today and decide to just stop on by to see up I've been up to over the past 2 years. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">That's</span> how long its been since we've talked. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Omgosshhhhh</span>, now I am getting more nervous thinking he might stop by. Maybe I should leave or something. Okay, just stop Barbara...catch your breath. Things will be okay. I am going to get some boxes today and start putting things in boxes and fixing up the things I broke while living here. Even though they didn't fix things on there end. I hope my landlord isn't pissed that I am moving. I did give them my 30 day notice so hopefully I will get my $550 dollar deposit back. I could use it considering I just paid $400 dollar deposit at my new place. I wish I could just stay in one place for a while and not move again for at least 3 years.....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">lol</span>. Anyway, I need to get off here and do some things. God bless you all and have a great day.</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-89239237771953788232008-10-23T08:55:00.000-07:002008-10-23T09:14:58.189-07:00~~Hi to my friends~~<em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Hello people. Sorry I've been missing in action for so long. Just trying to figure out what our purpose is and just didn't really care about writing or anything. I am still going to school, but this week and next I am taking off..because I need a much needed break. Well, I had a doctors appointment today, but the nurse called me this morning and told me my doctor called in sick, so I can't go until Monday. I have to have my doctor write me a get out of school pass like we used to have in school when I was little, so I can hopefully make up all my missed school work. I just could not go this week or next. I really feel frustration about trying to finish school and want it to be done already. The past 2 weeks my anxiety has been so bad I feel like I can't breath. Plus I am moving at the end of this month. I could not find a place to move to which brought much anxiety, and I knew I didn't want to stay where I am due to things breaking and not getting fixed. Speaking of not getting fixed, my hot water is still not fixed, so now you know why it is a must that I get out of this apartment. Well, I found one, but it will not be ready until Nov. 7, so I will have to stay at a motel or a my daughters dads apartment. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Omgoshhh</span>. That sounds really scary, so I know I can't stay with him. I will worry about that next Friday, moving day. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">I still can't find a work at home job. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">NTI</span> would not give me the job because I had to have a technical degree in computers for the job I applied for. So all summer long I waited on this job, and never got it. Thank God I gave up on making money blogging, or I would not be writing right now. I have been visiting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">WAHM</span> since March and the only job I got (and I applied for everyone that came up) was a job with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Weegy</span>, which is only .60 a day. With this anxiety problem I'm not sure what to do. I am tired of school, but continue; why? I don't know. I can't be around people without feeling like I am going to pass out. I guess it passes the time and I look like I am pursuing something. But school is making my anxiety worse right now. I get sick the night before I go to school and all day long while I am there. Not an answer for this problem. I have to deal with it because society doesn't see this as a true illness. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Thats</span> been my own experience anyways. Well, I will talk again soon, maybe, and thanks to everyone who visited my blog site while I was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">away</span>. I will return the favor as soon as I feel better, maybe today, or next week. God bless you all.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Sincerely, Barbara</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-51775545366813303952008-09-27T19:20:00.000-07:002008-09-27T19:47:25.681-07:00~~My Uncle passed away at 5am this morning~~<em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Well, another death has <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">occurred</span> in our family this morning. First it was my Aunt who passed away a couple of weeks ago. Now her husband, my wonderful Uncle Albert passed away at 5am this morning. I believe he was heart broken, and missing his wife and wanted to be with her. A few days after my Aunts funeral me and my dad went to see him and he had his white kitty sitting on his lap. He was talking to us, but looked so sad I didn't know what to say to him. We started talking about this years election. He said he didn't know yet who he was voting for. Now to think hes not even here. I have been so upset all day long. They were the perfect couple. The funeral is on Saturday of next week. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Omgoshhh</span>, I am so sad. This was my dads last brother he had left. My dad is 67 and I am getting really worried about him now. I can't even imagine anything happening to my daddy. All day I have been wondering, "What is this thing called life all about anyway? We are here, we suffer trying to pay bills, raise our families, find jobs, try and save relationships, go to funerals, and whatever else life wants to do to us. I know there are good days as well, but when you think about it it will drive you crazy trying to figure out reasoning in it all. I asked my daughter's daddy this question today and he said so we can all make it to heaven. Then I said, Why don't God just keep us all in heaven and then we don't have to go through all the pains of life. I guess this is just to deep a conversation to have on a blog site because no one knows these answers until we die. So we are suppose to enjoy our <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">life's</span> and make the best at whatever we go through. But, I was thinking about my Uncle Albert. He was such a good man and he would do anything for anyone, now hes gone. Here then gone. I know hes happy now, because he is back with the one he loves, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">that's</span> why I asked why bother even coming down here when we could just do all this up in heaven and live <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">forever</span> and ever. I love God and I know He has good reason for our test and trials we go through down here, and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">that's</span> just the way I look at anything that is thrown my way. I think to myself " Okay, this is just a test, get through it and go on to the next thing"</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Well, I am going to be bed here soon, just not feeling well at all. In the past year I have lost 2 Aunts, 1 Uncle, a cousin and his wife, and a really good friend. How sad is this. I miss them all dearly. God bless everyone, and have a great night.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-2219406319076407442008-09-25T11:03:00.000-07:002008-09-25T11:28:42.366-07:00~~Sarah Palin~~I wish people would leave her alone~~<em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Hello everyone, its been a while since I've wrote in here. My computer is not running well at all. I hope I can get through this post without it going down. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Back to Sarah <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Palin</span>. Every time I turn on the news I hear someone bashing this woman. Why is that? She has to account for every word, and I sure don't hear people questioning Mr. Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Biden</span>(Think I spelled his name right). I am just getting so <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">frustrated</span> at listening to people. I watch the 'View" and a few of those women on there just really don't like her. And a lot of the stars just absolutely hate her. Take Pam Anderson for one, she actually said " I just hate her". Do they personally know her? I doubt it. I believe they are jealous that a woman in her 40's may have a chance of becoming President. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">doubt</span> they've been to her house and had dinner with her and her family. That would be like me saying I hate Joe <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Biden</span> when I don't even know anything about this man. Just because <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Obama</span> chose him doesn't make me hate him. I guess he wears his suit better then Sarah. I see people making fun of style and where she lives, its ridiculous. When McCain called her up, I am sure she didn't run and take a class on VP. She was a mayor and a is a governor. What else do these people want? I say leave her alone and let her grow into her new found position as a running mate with John McCain. She could prove to be very good. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">I watched "Project Runway" last night and suede went home. I think I spelled his name correctly. I am having spelling problems today with names...lol..please excuse that. Anyway, I was kind of wanting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Kindley</span> to go home(once again, don't know about that name....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">lol</span>). She is a smart butt and thinks her designs are so great, and I don't think they are. Anyway, she is always putting Tim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Gunn</span> down when he tries to give her <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">criticism</span>. I would take it if he gave it to me. I mean, after all, he is a designer and I think he knows a little bit more then her. Maybe not, but she should just try and listen for a change. Some people think they know it all. Can't tell them nothing.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">I have been waiting on my student loan money now for a week. I thought for sure it would be here by now. Oh well. I had to borrow another 100 from my mom to pay my cable. It was due today, and thought I would have my money, but it didn't come so I had to ask my mommy again. That really sucks when I have to do that. She was nice about it. I pray it will come tomorrow. I was suppose to go to school yesterday, but had really bad anxiety all day long and couldn't do anything. So far this semester I have kept it under check, but yesterday it was bad. I e-mailed my teachers, and hope they aren't upset with me. I don't go back until Monday, so hopefully I will feel better by then. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#9999ff;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-69530424237927240982008-09-22T11:17:00.000-07:002008-09-22T11:32:21.388-07:00~~Going to school, talk soon~~<em><span style="color:#ffcccc;">Hi everyone, I am in between classes, so I can't talk very long for now. I had the worse anxiety last night that it made me cry. I think the thought of going to school this morning brought it on. I don't know why, I just got really sick and nervous. This morning I felt a little better, but I think its because I worry about getting in front of the class. Today, the first thing our teacher said was, "practice on your on design font, and we'll do our critiques on our <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ramson </span>notes we made last week" and my heart sunk. There was on way I could get in front of the class this morning, so I prayed like I did last night and this morning. Well, before we knew it, time had passed to quickly and he didn't mention it. So for 2 and a half hours i sit there worrying about doing this, only to not have to~~~THANK GOD~~I Believe He heard my prayer's. So now I am getting ready to pick my daughter up from school and take her to my moms so I can go back to school for my Algebra class. Double yuck. I hate this class so much. I got a D on my first test. Not good at all. I must make a C in order to take the next Math class in the spring semester to graduate, so I best be getting that tutor now, ASAP....<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">lol</span>. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffcccc;">With "Big Brother" over, I feel so lost. Now I can't find anything to watch. I guess I can use this time to STUDY ...That would be a good idea. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">STill</span> looking for that silly white truck to pull up. No luck there yet. Hell, he probably didn't even receive the card I sent. He probably moved or something, or knows, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">who's</span> cares...ME!!! Oh well, that would have been a bunch of drama that I don't need right now. And still waiting on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">NTI</span> to call me back. They write, but don't call. I wish I knew what it was God wanted me to do. Life is so confusing. Its like a big puzzle and we have to put all the pieces together correctly, or its a do over. Well, I really need to sign off and head out the door. I am not in school tomorrow, so I will visit <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">every ones</span> blog site. I haven't been posting on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">wahm</span> because I forgot my password and to busy to get another one. But I do go on and read all your updates and check out new job leads. God bless you all and have a great day.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ffcccc;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-68717106488163463942008-09-20T05:30:00.000-07:002008-09-20T05:54:15.614-07:00~~In the Belly of a Fish~~<em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Got to tell you guys about something that happened about 2 years ago. And I know I am a little crazy, but I don't hear voices or any real serious problems(that I know of). Except for my anxiety attacks and a little depression, I think I'm fine. Anyway, let me tell you about this experience I had. You will find it interesting but not <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">believable</span>.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">I came home from my moms house and turned on my computer, but the screen was up not up yet. So I waited a few minutes for it to warm up. Then I heard in my mind these words "In the Belly of a Fish" I thought <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">wtf</span>. (My actual thoughts at that time because it came of of no where). I looked on my computer which had a screen now and was looking for the word "fish" or "belly" but nothing. So I thought, oh well, I must be nuts. Didn't think anything else about it for a while. Then about 2 weeks later I had to do a project for my computer graphics class. We had to write a children's book. So I went into my daughters room and went through about 100 books looking for a good example. I found one and brought it into my living room not really paying much attention to the title or anything, just mainly looking for artwork. I put it under my coffee table until I was ready to use it. A week later the book just fell out at me. So I thought, I might has well start preparing for my project of writing this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">children's</span> book. As I was looking at this book I totally freaked out. The title of this book was "The Story of Jonah" , so I thought I would read it. When I read it I was amazed at the wording in this book. I seen these <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">exact</span> words "In the Belly of a Fish" and I thought wow. I knew then that God was sending me a message. I just didn't know what. I know God doesn't talk out loud to us, but I do believe when He wants to get our attention He does what He has to do to get it. This was his way I just know. That was a few years ago, but I still keep the book in my cabinet, close by and read it every so often. In the book it read how Jonah had to go tell people that their nation was in trouble if they didn't turn from their sins. And in our nation, we have had so much trouble since then. I waited on more signs but I guess I missed them or not. Maybe I am afraid to go around and tell people about this. I only told a hand full of people about this experience, but it is as real as ever. And I do believe God wants me to do something I am just not sure what yet. With no doubt, I know He has a plan for me, and that is one reason I keep going on. Another <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">morning</span> I woke up out of a deep sleep and heard these words as plain as day. "All you people driving around in your fast cars having fun are heading to the lake of fire" and it scared me to death. You see, I don't go to church, but I do believe in God and Jesus. So not sure what God is telling me, since so many people do believe there is not a hell, which I bet to differ. But people will say, "Oh, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">there is</span> no Hell, or devil. Which who really knows for sure. No one does until they die. So we should go by our only proof, which it the Bible, which does speak about Hell lots. Not a preacher here, but have had way to many signs in the past few years to believe different. Also, 4 years ago I had to have sex. I mean I didn't think anything about it. Then I was watching a pastor on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">TBN</span> and he was talking about sex, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Then I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">stopped</span> having sex out of marriage. Which I am not married, so I have not had sex in 4 years, which could be the reason I am so frustrated..<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">lol</span>, but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">that's</span> a different blog, and way to long for now. Anyway, I decided to wait until I get married. For me to just stopping having sex was impossible. Ever since I was 14, I had sex at least once a day, and I'm not even kidding about this. I was addicted to sex. Then 4 years ago, it just happened. I stopped. So now I know that I know there is a God up there. For him to stop me from this was truly a miracle. Got to go. God bless you all and have a great day.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4751724161084169965.post-91423552186937052862008-09-19T11:16:00.000-07:002008-09-19T11:37:57.863-07:00~~Short & Sweet~~<em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Short & Sweet and to the point. I wish I could figure this thing out called life. Twists and turns, tests and trials, love and hate, poor and rich. Wow, listening to a really good song right now. "The Eagles" <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Witchy</span> Woman" awesome~~~ Can't hardly type for singing. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Just sitting here looking at my patio window waiting for a white truck to drive by. Damn, to many. Oh well. I just can't get him out of my head. He shouldn't have left that little gift card. And i shouldn't have sent him a card in return. Now I am waiting on what? Don't know. It is making my days more interesting. Gives me hope that maybe we might be together one of these days. </span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Another good song....This one is country..."Killing Time, is Killing me, Drinking myself blind, thinking I won't see" Clint Black. Wow, I love all kinds of music. I wish I could still drink sometimes, but I tried to drink a beer a while ago, and started getting a headache. I think I did it to much when I was younger. But I am in the mood to drink a beer. Don't know why. Music does that to me sometimes. "Killing time for eternity" ...<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">OK</span>, the song is finished. Now its Willie Nelson "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" Love that song too. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">OK</span>, I am really hoping this man will come by my house and ask me to marry him. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Omgoshhhh</span>. What did I just say? See what he did to my mind this past week. I really need to get a grip now. Barbara, you know you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">couldn't</span> marry him right now, you have your daughter's daddy somewhere on the line. But he doesn't care about me, or he would stop drinking...isn't that correct. He's had 4 years to stop drinking and us be together, but he is still drinking every night. What would you do if you were me? Well, have to go. God bless you all and have a great weekend. Will keep you updated on my silly self, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">playin</span> this game inside my mind...<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">lol</span>.</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;">Sincerely, Barbara :)</span></em><br /><em><span style="color:#ff6666;"></span></em>Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17064160013786490268noreply@blogger.com0