Friday, October 24, 2008

~~Caution-Seen man in white truck

Good morning all...Hows everyone this morning? Good I hope. Its raining here and actually that puts me in a better know, I'm silly. I am going to try and make this a relaxing day. Not worry about school or anything else for that matter. I just hope my doctor will write me a note for school next week because I really need another week off to relax and catch my breath, and get the moving thing over with. Hates moving...for the past 3 years I have moved each year when my lease was up. I hope this new place will bring satisfaction to me. I do think I will try and take all online classes next semester if possible. I think that will be better as one of my blogger friends suggested. Thankyou. That way I can concentrate on finding that perfect work at home job. I really don't know if I can work outside the home right now. Oh well, I'll just take my days one at a time.

Yesterday as me and my daughter were leaving, I seen that white truck drive by and a man inside the truck was smiling and waving at me. It was man I've talked about on here before. I man who left the gift card on my truck on my Birthday. I didn't know if it made me have more anxiety or excitment. Anxiety because I still see my daughter's daddy, or excitement because deep down in my heart I know he is "The One". so I think anyways...omgoshhh. I don't think I need this pressure right now. My daughter knows who he is because she seen the card and so I had to tell her who he was. Yesterday she said "Mom, he just found you again, and now we are moving again" was funny, I had to laugh. He works at a golf course and when it rains, he gets off work early. I really hope he doesn't get brave today and decide to just stop on by to see up I've been up to over the past 2 years. That's how long its been since we've talked. Omgosshhhhh, now I am getting more nervous thinking he might stop by. Maybe I should leave or something. Okay, just stop Barbara...catch your breath. Things will be okay. I am going to get some boxes today and start putting things in boxes and fixing up the things I broke while living here. Even though they didn't fix things on there end. I hope my landlord isn't pissed that I am moving. I did give them my 30 day notice so hopefully I will get my $550 dollar deposit back. I could use it considering I just paid $400 dollar deposit at my new place. I wish I could just stay in one place for a while and not move again for at least 3 Anyway, I need to get off here and do some things. God bless you all and have a great day.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

~~Hi to my friends~~

Hello people. Sorry I've been missing in action for so long. Just trying to figure out what our purpose is and just didn't really care about writing or anything. I am still going to school, but this week and next I am taking off..because I need a much needed break. Well, I had a doctors appointment today, but the nurse called me this morning and told me my doctor called in sick, so I can't go until Monday. I have to have my doctor write me a get out of school pass like we used to have in school when I was little, so I can hopefully make up all my missed school work. I just could not go this week or next. I really feel frustration about trying to finish school and want it to be done already. The past 2 weeks my anxiety has been so bad I feel like I can't breath. Plus I am moving at the end of this month. I could not find a place to move to which brought much anxiety, and I knew I didn't want to stay where I am due to things breaking and not getting fixed. Speaking of not getting fixed, my hot water is still not fixed, so now you know why it is a must that I get out of this apartment. Well, I found one, but it will not be ready until Nov. 7, so I will have to stay at a motel or a my daughters dads apartment. Omgoshhh. That sounds really scary, so I know I can't stay with him. I will worry about that next Friday, moving day.

I still can't find a work at home job. NTI would not give me the job because I had to have a technical degree in computers for the job I applied for. So all summer long I waited on this job, and never got it. Thank God I gave up on making money blogging, or I would not be writing right now. I have been visiting WAHM since March and the only job I got (and I applied for everyone that came up) was a job with Weegy, which is only .60 a day. With this anxiety problem I'm not sure what to do. I am tired of school, but continue; why? I don't know. I can't be around people without feeling like I am going to pass out. I guess it passes the time and I look like I am pursuing something. But school is making my anxiety worse right now. I get sick the night before I go to school and all day long while I am there. Not an answer for this problem. I have to deal with it because society doesn't see this as a true illness. Thats been my own experience anyways. Well, I will talk again soon, maybe, and thanks to everyone who visited my blog site while I was away. I will return the favor as soon as I feel better, maybe today, or next week. God bless you all.

Sincerely, Barbara