Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Another Day, Another dream washed away~~

Depressed today again. Can't figure out how to pay my bills, and its really getting to me. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, maybe she can help me with this depression. I hate to dwell on the same things right now, but these are my secret thoughts. No pleasurable thoughts going on here right now. I am thinking about calling me mother and asking her for help, but she has enouth to worry about, and I don't want ot add to her problems. I wish one of those jobs would call me today. In a month, I will have my school student loan money, which I can use to take care of school and bills, but I have a whole moth before that happens. I tried to receive disability for my anxiety, but when I went to court, they denied me, which is ok, because I would much rather work, but I have tried a few jobs this summer and failed at both. I did get approved by the VR in my state, but that could take a while. The N.E.W. jobs are not suppose to start until Sept. 8th, so, not sure what to do. Blogging doesn't pay until your a pro at it, in which I clearly am not. Trying to get into ChaCha, but still waiting.
It seems alll I do is play the waiting game. For school, work, love, or whatever. I am always waiting on something to happen. I remember even when I was married, and content, I was waiting on something to change. I would stay up at night and figure up our bills, and my husband at that time made good money, so why did I put myself through all that. Only God knows. Well, I have to go for now. Hopefully tomorrow will bring some good news.
God bless everyone,
Barbara :)

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