WOW...this is red hot. On Monday I will be 45 years old. So, not to happy this week, I have the Birthday blues. I see younger women, and even though I am not jealous, I feel old. I look at myself in the mirror and just don't like what I see now. It sucks, because my self-esteem has always been low anyways. Well, this morning when I went to get in my truck, there was a little gift card on my windshield wiper, so I opened it up. It was a gift card for 20$ for K-Mart. I recognized the hand writing, even though it did not say who it was from. It just said "Sunday 7th " and that was it. Even though he was one day off, I couldn't believe he did that. This is the man that I have wrote about before as being "the one" Its been over a year since I've seen him, and didn't even know he knew where I lived since I moved last year. But, it was his hand writing because I got out an old poem he wrote me over 4 years ago. This touched me in a way that I can't explain. Me and my daughter were on our way to see her daddy. But deep down inside I was so happy that he even remembered me. Then tonight someone knocked on my door, and I was afraid it was him..but it was my son and his girlfriend bringing me something for my Birthday. Now I don't know how to act. Just knowing that he knows where I live is mind blowing. What if he does decide to stop and knock at my door one of these days? omgoshhh...I always said if he knocked at my door and asked me to marry him I would. And I always pray that I will see him again. But today I got nervous. I mean, I feel fat, and old, and frumpy, and whatever else goes with being 45. What if he sees me and thinks bad thoughts about me? What am I talking about, he may never stop. I am getting myself all worked up for nothing. Oh well, it did make my day.
I still have not done any homework. I just can't get motivated about school this semester. I am trying to think of an idea for a web site, and that's about all I've done at this point. Next week I have 2 tests already, and the following week, I have 2 projects due. Omgoshh..Plus I still need to paint my daughters room before I move in October. And I will be working for NTI, so I will have a busy next 2 months.
Well, I think I will check to see if any opp's dropped yet. I have stilll only been able to catch one, and that one got rejected....lol. Oh well. I will get another, maybe..lol..I think I am at the point where I don't really care if I get one or not. I just enjoy releasing all my feelings on here, plus reading everyone Else's blogs. I have a few that I really enjoy and read all the time.
God bless you all and have sweet dreams.(oh yeah, they did look at my hot water, but can't fix it until Monday, they need to order a part, just my luck, now still warming water up on the stove..lol).
Sincerely, Barbara :)