Sunday, August 3, 2008

The little things in life

Good morning everyone..My day is starting off pretty good so far. As you know if you've any of my blogs, i suffer from anxiety, and usually my worse times are right when I wake up. I jump up out of bed like I'm in trouble or something. That feeling is starting to subside a little. Maybe I'm not caring as much about what my neighbors think now...not sure what happened. As of today, I am still waiting on those two work at home jobs to call me. And I am still in the process of getting ChaCha going. I am having lots of anxiety about taking that final test to work with them...I get prepared, then cancel I will for sure..
Wow, I just had a bunch of things wrote out, and I touched something and deleted it, now I am still smiling. I can write more, I think.
My daughters daddy is coming over. Sometimes when I can't go to the store because of my anxiety, I will ask him if he will go for me. In exchange I was going to fix him breakfast. But, he just called and said he had to work on his brakes first. I guess it will have to be lunch I fix him. Thats the kind of relationship we have currently. I do things he needs done, and he does things for me that I need done. I know it sounds crazy, but it works for now. But I don't believe I am in love with him anymore. Its more on a friend level. But I do just get jealous, and that is one sign that feelings are still there. I've been going through this with him now for over 15 years. does one keep let go of past relationships. I don't know. I guess its better then not having anyone, but I can't go out and meet "the one" living like this. My anxiety is to bad to change anything up right now, so today we will still remain friends. Well, gots to go..God bless everyone, and have a great day.
Sincerely, Barbara :)

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